let Go of Control (Part 2)

How to use power and influence as a mechanism for letting go.

Part one of let go focused on how to determine what you can and should control and what isn't yours to control. There are several ways to exercise letting go, I will focus on my favorite method. Using power and influence as a mechanism for letting go.

I speak for all micromanagers and change masters when I say, I know what I want and know how to achieve it, so why should I waste time waiting on someone else to try and not deliver. I learned a valuable lesson in the last couple of weeks, I learned that letting go can empower others. What does empowerment have to do with letting go? Let's explore.

1. LEVERAGING YOUR POWER AND INFLUENCE: Most controllers operate out of fear; fear of failure, fear of being disappointed, fear of disappointing others, fear that if they let go things will crumble. What controllers must understand is that they hold ALL of the power. Power to decide on what is possible and what isn't, power to determine whether to carry the burden of control or whether to release the issue and lift the burden, power to structure their time so that they are able to work on what is possible and enjoyable to them. Power to influence others.

For example, if you have a list of items to accomplish, and you have the opportunity to delegate the task but you decide to tackle it by yourself; what if you decided to leverage your power by (1) determine your desired outcome (2) delegate the task to someone else, (3) expressing your desired outcome but allowing them to decide on how to arrive at the outcome. Leveraging your influence and power enables you to get more time in your day and still achieve your desired outcome.

Leveraging your influence does not mean you hover, it does not mean you stress over the progress of the task, it does not mean that you send a million emails or text with a subject line that reads "just a suggestion". Leveraging your influence means controlling what you can, like deciding on your desired outcome, but stepping back and allowing an organic process. Leveraging your power means, doing all that you have control over, because you have the ability, skill and time to do those things, but also letting go when you have done all that you are skilled and have time to do. The best part of leveraging influence and power is that it empowers others to exercise their power by utilizing their skills and abilities and time effectively.

2. EMPOWERING OTHERS TO USE THEIR POWER. A good exercise in letting go is determining who else is capable of tackling a task and allowing them to do just that. When controlling personalities seek out help others jump at the opportunity to assist. Exercising your power and influence gives you the opportunity to observe and champion the strengths of others, it helps you to determine what they are good and what they are not good at. It teaches you how they use their power; do they trip over it, are they thoughtful and careful in their process, can you trust them with more because they were successful with a little?

Control prevents us from achieving so much more because it robs of mental and physical time. Power and influence can elevate us to teach, encourage and focus on the good and strength of others, which in turn strengthens our relationships.

Who can you empower to use their power and influence? Leave a comment, share your thoughts.

Nikki